Tdsc ep 4
"Last time on Total Drama: Second Chances," Chris began, standing in his normal spot for the recaps. "The contestants went deep into an old cave in a throwback to season four's mine challenge! Some were shown to be more successful than others, and with Zeke's kazoo rapping, Trent's deep, psychological issues, and Staci being... Staci, the Rhinos were at an all-time low. In the end, Zeke and Dawn were lined up to be eliminated, but Trent quit selflessly after coming to an epiphany about Gwen and his time in the game. Nice kid. I like that guy. Twenty remain! Who will rise? Who will fall? Find out right here on Total... Drama... Second Chances!" The Rhinos were shown in their shelter, sleeping. Justin was lying on a rock shirtless, Dawn was meditating, while others such as Rodney, Anne Maria, and Ezekiel were piled up on the ground. Staci was audibly snoring, and Dakota was sitting next to her covering her ears angrily. Dakota was shown in the confessional with bags under her eyes. "Ugh! Can't a girl get a nice beauty sleep around here? There are no mirrors in this cave, I can't afford to reapply my makeup..." Rodney sat up, looking around, "Uhh... what's that noise?" He then turned over and saw Staci snoring obnoxiously, he then flopped back over. "Man... we just keep losing," Rodney said sadly in the confessional, "We didn't lose nearly this much in Pahkitew Island! We gotta start winning..." Max sat up abruptly, "SIIIIILEEEEENNNNCE!" He yelled loudly, scaring everyone awake. Max then fell back asleep, leaving everyone alarmed. "Staci's pathetic snoring was disrupting evil's BEAUTY SLEEP!" Max yelled in the confessional, "How do you think my skin is so flawless? Evil alone cannot do that!" "Ugh," Amy said, waking up. "Will you guys shut up? I need time to think of awful things to do to sabotage the other team. AKA, my sister!" "Calm down, eh," a groggy Ezekiel said, waking up. "Can't we just relax and listen to the wild moose in th' distance?" A loud booming noise was heard, "Beautiful." Everyone then looked at Ezekiel, weirdly, "What?" Ezekiel said. "I'd rather jus' relax and stare at Justin," Anne Maria said. "Just look at him! Man, the guy's almost as tanned as Vito." Everyone else nodded in agreement and Ezekiel fell back asleep angrily. Justin suddenly woke up. "Oh. Hey. Uh, what? Yeah, I'm hot." He closed his eyes again. Justin was shown in the confessional. "You know, I feel like my true potential to be a great player was crushed in Action, all thanks to Courtney. But this group still doesn't know about my charms. So I'm totally going to play them all like puppets... if I stop admiring my newly brushed, silky hair, of course. It's gonna take a lot of strength to do that." Meanwhile, in the Wizard's Tower, Leonard and an unenthusiastic-looking Eva were sitting at the very top of the tower, keeping watch. Eva sighed loudly, "Why are we doing this, it's five in the morning." "We must be diligent for the enemy!" Leonard exclaimed, "A good wizard doesn't let his guard down!" "Yeah... but why did I have to do this crap?" Eva asked. "You are very... broad and imposing, you are an excellent guard!" Leonard said, happily. Eva grabbed his robe, "What did you just call me?!" She exclaimed as he struggled to breathe. "My robe is made of paper!" Leonard exclaimed, "Careful! It might shatter!" Eva suddenly dropped him, and Leonard struggled to catch his breath. "Yeah I'm done here," Eva said, going back into the tower and slamming the door. "She almost ruined my robe!" Leonard exclaimed in the confessional, "Hey, if that's what does to me when I say she is physically intimidating, who KNOWS what she'll do to someone with superior health and mana to myself!" The rest of the team was shown curling up around the bottom part of the tower. Noah was sitting against the wall reading, Sam was shown with his GameGuy, and the others were attempting to sleep. Brick's horn-sounding alarm clock went off and started playing a military tune, and he jumped up. "Rise and shine, soldiers!" "Ugh..." Noah said. "I got less sleep than that night Owen sat on me." Katie woke up and pushed Samey out of the way. "Hey, you were an inch too close to me!" "Oh, my!" Blaineley said in the confessional. "Now that's some juicy drama happening on our team! Katie is hashtag b-i-t-t-e-r because of the loss of her best friend, and Samey is too submissive to do anything! Whoo, will these wild and crazy girls calm themselves down? There's only one way to find out." Blaineley walked over to the two. "So, Katie, Samey. How about working out your differences with some nice little interrogation?" "Um... What differences?" Samey said nervously. "I don't even know what I did... Katie kinda just started being unpleasant..." "Ha, please," Katie snarled. "Get out of here, Spareamy." Samey gasped. "How did she know that nickname!?" Samey exclaimed in the confessional. "I'm waking up, and I say hey, it's going to be a magnificent daaay!" Ella sang as she bounded out of bed. "Yeah... I'm feelin'... a nice day... too," Beardo said, while making rhythmic movements. Blaineley looked at them, "Budding romance I see? Please, give me the scoop." "Romance?" Ella asked, "Why, this isn't a romance, but simply a friendship!" Beardo made a dinging noise and Blaineley rolled her eyes. Blaineley then glanced over to Tyler, who was sleeping in a clump on the side of the room. "Hm, is Tyler going through some relationship troubles? Normal people don't sleep like that..." Tyler then sprung up, did a cartwheel, and landed on his face. He got up completely unfazed, then shouted, "Alright! I'm ready to rock and roll!" "Tyler, she wants to know about your 'relationship troubles'," Noah said sarcastically. "Uh? Wha? Relationship troubles? Hey! Linds and I are really stable! As stable as... like, wooden planks and stuff!" Tyler said defensively. Blaineley sighed loudly and walked over to her bed. "Man, why did Blaineley ask about me and Lindsay?" Tyler asked in the confessional, "Did she hear something about us or something? 'Cause we're pretty stable, I think..." "This team is about as bland as bland can get!" Blaineley exclaimed in the confessional, "Where is the drama? The relationship problems? Come on, step it up! When Samey and Katie are the two most interesting ones on your team, you know there's something wrong!" Chris was shown with the two teams at what looked like a freshly built amphitheater. "Hey, everyone!" he said. "Ready for some more pain and suffering? Um, I mean... It's challenge time! Today's challenge is a throwback to the first season again, it's the talent show! Teams have the whole day to pick their three most talented players. They will then perform in front of us, being judged by myself, Chef, and classic Total Drama competitor... Lindsay!" "Lindsay!" Tyler exclaimed, happily. Lindsay popped up at the table where Chef was lurking, and squealed. "Omigosh, hi Tyler!" "She remembered your name? Shock of the century," said Noah dryly to a beaming Tyler. Tyler looked back at him. "Alright alright we don't need all the love stuff, we got PLENTY of that in All-Stars," Chris said, popping up in between Lindsay and Tyler. "Any questions before we begin?" Leonard raised his hand, "Would you be okay with me summoning a gigantic scary monster or would that be illegal?" Chris started to speak, but his phone rang. He answered it and loud yelling was heard on the other end, he then put it back in his pocket and looked at Leonard, "I was going to approve it, but the producers have had enough with 'scary lumbering monsters who will kill everything', I guess that's why we couldn't get Ezekiel to come to Pahkitew last time." "Nah I wasn't gonna be on this lame-o show anyways homes," Ezekiel snorted. "Then why are you here now?" Justin asked him. Ezekiel looked at him, "The cash yo! I need that stuff if I'mma gonna produce my kazoo rap album, homie," Justin cringed at the mention of 'kazoo rap' and backed away from him. "Alright, time for the comp--" Chris began but his phone rang again, he answered it and the same yelling voice was heard. He then hung up again, "Okay, since the producers want the judging panel to be 'fair and just', I have to step down and ANOTHER classic TD contestant must take the third judge's spot." Suddenly, Harold walked out, "Hey guys, so are you ready to show off your wicked skills?" Everybody stayed silent. "I will take that as a yes," Harold said. "Alright, everyone, go do your things," Chris said. "Harold, Lindsay, and Chef will be waiting late tonight!" The teams dispersed. The Hippos were shown gathered around in the forest. "Okay, guys, I don't want ANY nonsense going on," Eva said sternly. "If you have a talent, show me. If not, don't talk." Beardo began beatboxing masterfully, and a few of the teammates cheered. "Okay, we all know he can do that," Eva said. "Who else?" "Hmm, I don't know, it's obvious some of you have just flowing amounts of talent," Noah said. "I'd hate to steal the spotlight from the true talented teens on this team." He took out a book and began reading. Tyler walked up, "Alright guys check this out!" He then grabbed four yo-yos from his pocket and began swinging them around wildly. Everyone began running away and ducking to get out of his way. "Uh, yeah, no," Blaineley said. Tyler sighed and one of the yo-yos came back around and hit him in the head. "Hm, Blaineley, do you have anything better?" Eva said. "I doubt it." "I am the MASTER of dishing dirt!" Blaineley exclaimed, "Anything about anyone, I can figure it out and "Well, I myself have been working on a transformation spell!" Leonard said. "If you give me a couple hours to reach my true wizarding potential, I could easily do it." "Heh, no way!" said Sam. "Yeah, guys, we gotta let this dude show off his talent. He's got some true skills." "That's good to know," said Brick. "I, for one, have had years of military training, so I could easily transfer that to the stage! I also took a theater class at fashion school... Heh, it was pretty fun." "I'm good at--" Samey began. Katie then stood up and yelled, "Nobody cares, Samey!" Samey then looked at her. Noah laughed slightly. "Uh... okay, heheh," Sam said awkwardly. "Well, Beardo and I could perform a nice duet we've been working on," Ella said. "His noises are just simply marvelous!" "As much as I hate your singing, you're probably the best we've got," Eva said, "You're in I guess." Ella and Beardo high five happily. "Oh stop trying to hide your true feelings for each other!" Blaineley exclaimed and Beardo and Ella looked at her. "Hey! We still need two more acts, and I know just who would rock them! Me!" Tyler said. Tyler was shown in the confessional. "Yeah, I know I got all tangled up with the yo-yos last time, but I mean, Lindsay is out there and I wanna be cool for her. She once beat me in arm wrestling. And she used her left foot. Man." "Well, I can finish level 5-3 in Super Android Hunt in record time," Sam said. "Pretty rad." "Wow!" Leonard exclaimed, "That is a true talent!" "Yeah... Sam better go up there and play a video game, that will impress I'm sure," Noah said, not looking up from his book. "Better than what you can do," Eva said to Noah and he rolled his eyes and looked back at his book. The Rhinos were then shown in their shelter, brainstorming as well. "I am the diabolical master of this tribe!" Max said. "I have perfected a new invention, too. There is nary a chance that we will lose if I go up there!" Amy looked at him, "Yeah none of your CRAPPY inventions worked last time we were on a team together!" "Yes, yes they did," Max said, defensively, "you guys just didn't NOTICE!" "We all noticed you SUCKED!" Amy yelled at him. "Yeah... well you're a stinky bad person!" Max yelled and everyone gasped mockingly. "Uh, I ain't gonna interfere in you playas' games, but if you want some true talent, y'know where to find me," Ezekiel said, holding up his kazoo. "Alright, so, Justin's gonna do his routine thingy that he did back in season one," Anne Maria said. Justin was combing his hair. He looked up, and said, "I am?" "Oh, of course!" said Staci. "Ja, I mean, I still don't like you, but it's better than what all these posers can do, so sad." "Shut up Staci," Anne Maria said, "You're interrupting THE JUSTIN!" Justin winked at the camera. "Okay, so Ezekiel is out right off the bat," Justin said, "and my beautiful hotness will be one act, who are the other two?" "Hmm, well, I can sit up there and look cute!" giggled Dakota. "Yeah, no, we have Justin for that," Anne Maria said. "Hey! Cute and hot are two VERY different things!" snapped Dakota. "Yeah well Justin is cute AND hot!" Anne Maria exclaimed. Dakota looked back at her, "Yeah well so am I! Right Sammy?" She looked around and realized Sam wasn't there. Ezekiel is heard in the distance, "Yeah!" "Uh, I'm big and I can lift stuff, is that a talent?" Rodney said. "I could also probably perform a poem I wrote the other day..." "Maybe a talent if we were being completely USELESS!" Amy screeched. "Ooh, Rodney, I wanna hear your poem, ja," Staci said. "It's probably about me. You know, after all, my second cousin twice removed, Debbie, invented poems. Before her, everyone talked like Rodney whenever he sees girls. Ja." Dawn looked at Rodney, "Honestly a poem may not be the worst idea we have here, I for one would love to hear the inner mechanisms of your mind." Rodney looked at Dawn and immediately began crying. "Please don't cry Rodney!" Amy began crying, too. "I'm okay, Amy," Rodney answered. Rodney was then shown in the confessional. "Yeah, I know Amy is there too, and I don't want to hurt her... But those words intertwined in the poem I wrote are just such works of art, and they mean so much about my burning desire for Dawn... I need to tell her how I really feel!" "Rodney is so closed off it is somewhat difficult to get a true read on him," Dawn said in the confessional, "I feel like hearing this poem would be good for him, to perhaps raise his self-esteem." "Hi Rodney," Amy sniffed, running over to Rodney, who was sobbing. "Hi Amy," Rodney sobbed. "What's wrong?" Amy asked. "Dawn yelled at me," Rodney sniffed, close to tears. "Can I tickle you?" Amy asked. "Sure!" Rodney giggled. Amy tickled his armpits and he began to laugh so hard. "I am to perform my newest invention," snapped Max. "And there's nothing you fools can do about it! I am preparing to reanimate a corpse from deep in the bowels of Pahkitew Island. I just need a thunderstorm, and some evil laughter, and Maxenstein will be born! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!" "Yeah there is somethin' wrong with you," Anne Maria said, backing away. "Tsk, tsk," said Max. "Okay, fine. I guess I'll just play my French horn, then." "Hey, Anne Maria," said Justin. "You got any talents?" "Does starin' at you count?" Anne Maria said. "Or I could put my hair into a new style. Y'know, I've been thinkin' about that recently, oh and partying! I'm good at partying." "Eh, you look good the way you are!" Ezekiel shouted. "But I'd love to party with you, fo'shizzle. Remember the mine party we had? That was totally crunk." "I'd never be caught DEAD partying with you!" Anne Maria said, disgusted with Zeke. "So you'd be caught alive partying with me? Aw yeah score!" Ezekiel said and Anne Maria slapped him. "I hate that guy so freakin' much," Anne Maria exclaimed in the confessional, "Heck I'd take DAKOTA over that loser and that's sayin' something!" "She loves me, she just don't know it yet yo," Ezekiel said in the confessional, "I mean I got her a diamond back on that lame-o summer camp what more can I give!" "Yo, Rodney," said Ezekiel, walking over to him. "Gimme your poem, I'm gonna translate it to rap." "Huh?" Rodney said. "Hey, maybe that would be good! It could prevent me from muddling over my words again. I have to find the right words, and you could do it." "YEEEESSS!" Ezekiel cheered. "Heh, yeah, this'll show Anne Maria who's really the right dude, yo." "Who, me?" Rodney asked. "No you freakin' poser, me!" Ezekiel yelled, and Rodney sighed. The Hippos were then shown near the stage, where Beardo was setting up a display of turntables and beatboxing equipment. "Hey! Where'd you get that?" Tyler said. Beardo made a dinging noise and gave a thumbs-up. "Okay, uh, we still only have one act..." Brick said nervously. "I'm telling you guys, I could sew a mean scarf pretty quickly." "I can dish the DIRT!" Blaineley exclaimed, "Trust me on this, you will not be disappointed!" "...fine," Eva said, crossing her arms, "but if you guys lose it for us, we WILL be voting one of you off." Brick gulped and Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Like she can kick ME off!" Blaineley exclaimed, looking at Brick. Brick looked back at her nervously. "Eva is a very... controlling, intimidating... scary soldier," Brick said in the confessional, "but she is very useful in the challenges we face. Hopefully she doesn't murder one of our team by the end of this game." "Uh, Eva, what are your talents?" Brick said nervously. Eva said nothing and just glanced at Brick menacingly. "That," said Noah. "Eva, I'm sure you could terrify Chef into giving you the points." "Shut it, Noah!" yelled Eva. "I am this close to throwing you through a wall." Noah laughed slightly and looked back at his book. "God, this team is USELESS!" Eva exclaimed in the confessional, "I really have no idea who is the most useless of them all, it's that bad. It is taking every ounce of my patience to not break someone's spine out here..." "Alright, Beardo, it's time to do some vocal cord exercises!" said Ella gleefully. "Repeat after me." She then started singing. Beardo started beatboxing, and then wailed in a falsetto. "Okay, that's great! A bit more!" said Ella. "Your singing is lovely!" Beardo cleared his throat, and started belting out an incredibly convincing male opera singer voice. The Rhinos looked around trying to find that voice, and noticed it was Beardo from the other team. "We're doomed," Justin said. "It isn't over until it's over," Dawn said, popping up behind Justin. "That girl seriously scares me," Justin said in the confessional, "Plus she isn't even affected by my hunky gorgeousness!" "Really? Not over?" Justin asked, gesturing over to Max fiddling with his french horn and Ezekiel doing awkward dance moves. Dawn sighed, "Good point." "Two minutes!" Chris yelled to the back stage, "Then it's time to pick who goes first!" "Alright, everyone, well, I want to get this out of the way, so I'll go first," said Brick. "It won't take long, I promise." "YEAH! Show those threads of yarn who's boss!" Tyler said. "Yo, I'm goin' last, homies," Ezekiel said to the Rhinos. "This work o' literary art gotta be appreciated." Anne Maria was shown in the confessional. "Y'know, if that poser's poem is about ME, he's gonna wish he was neva' born!" The scene then changed to the front of the stage, where Chef appeared. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys an' girls, please welcome the... er, the amazingly talented cast of Total Drama: Second Chances and their wonderful skills. 'Ey, who wrote these cue cards?" "Just say it!" Chris said from the sidelines. "Ah, right," Chef said looking at the cue cards and partially covering his face, "Tonight we shall be hearing lovely performences from Justin, Max, and Ezekiel for the Rhinos, and Brick, Blaineley, and a duet featuring Beardo and Ella. Isn't that... exciting?" "Yes," Harold said from the judges' booth, his mouth open. "Alright, give a warm welcome to... Max!" Chef said. He walked off and to the other judges, and Max trudged out with his French horn around him. "Hello," Max said, waving to the judges, "Today I shall be playing Beethoven's 15th EVIL sonata in G Major." Harold, Lindsay, and Chef clapped half-heartedly as Max began to play. In the middle of Max's playing, he said, "Are you terrified yet?" then continued to play fairly decently. Once he finished, he bowed, then collapsed due to the weight of the horn. "Uh... That was passable, I'd say," said Chef. "I give it a seven." "I always enjoyed the sound of the french horn," Harold said, "It's the middle-man between the trumpet and the trombone in terms of pitch, really. I give it a six." Lindsay scratched her head, "I actually have no idea what that was, so I give it a five!" "Next up, we have..." said Chef, reading off his cue cards. "Brick. Who will be... sewin'." Brick marched out with a basket filled with yarn and needles. "Actually, it's crocheting," Brick said. "Alright, everyone! After my tenure at fashion school, I've been able to do this in record time. Behold my skills." He took out the yarn and heavily concentrated at it, beginning to sweat. Eva and Noah in the audience yawned. "Hey, don't lose hope yet!" Brick said. "Ha, I'm just getting started." He continued to crochet a masterful looking scarf, "Crocheting takes time my friends!" Chef yawned loudly as Brick tried to speed up. He then pricked himself with the needle and cried out in pain. "Hurry up!" Chef yelled out. Brick held up a haphazardly put together scarf and all three judges looked at him, "Ta-da?" Brick said, unsure. "That's the least manly think I ever seen an' I tried to man up DJ!" Chef yelled, "Two points." "That's like, not cute," Lindsay said, "Five points. I like the pink though!" "Crocheting really is underrated in terms of fabrics," Harold said matter-of-factly, "Six points because your technique is pretty off." Brick sighed and walked off stage, sniffling. Justin then walked out. "Hey," he said. "Oooh, I'm excited for this!" said Lindsay. "Aw, come on!" Tyler said from the bleachers. "Uh, just kidding..." Lindsay said. "I don't need Justin. I've got a great man right here!" Tyler beamed with excitement. "Just... Just start the performance already..." Eva said, sighing lovingly at Justin. She then slapped herself. "Wait, he's on the opposite team! DANG IT!" "Ready to be wowed by my dazzling beauty?" Justin said. "I doubt it. Lights, please." He snapped his fingers, and the lights dimmed, but a couple of spotlights shone on him. He then ripped off his shirt and started moving around seductively. Lindsay and Chef looked at him, completely enamored in his performance while Harold sat there rolling his eyes. Justin's signature music began playing as he pulled a rope and water dropped on his chest and immediately evaporated. Then the music stopped and he looked at the judges, and winked. "Ten!" Lindsay screamed and Tyler looked at her, sadly, "I mean... nine." Justin smiled. "I'm gonna give it a six," Chef said as Harold looked at him, "What? He's hot man." "Being hot ISN'T a talent," Harold said rolling his eyes, "You gotta have mad skills, like myself. I give you a zero." Justin frowned. "Oh, so I guess ugly people's jealousy IS real..." Harold gasped. "I am not jealous!" Harold exclaimed, defensively. Justin then walked off of the stage, and Beardo and Ella appeared on it shortly after. "Hello, everyone!" said Ella. "Today, Beardo and I will be performing an original musical number." Beardo dragged out some turntables, picked up a microphone, and started beatboxing. Harold's jaw dropped. "Hey! Those are MY turntables!" Chef exclaimed, angrily. Ella cleared her throat, and Beardo continued beatboxing. "We're the Humiliated Hippos! We sound pathetic, as you can seeeee... But we will prove our name wrong, and the winners we will be! My handsome friend Beardo has a nice talent too, and I'm so very glad he could share it with yoooooou!" She then started dancing around Beardo, who belted out in the same operatic voice as earlier. "Toooootal... Drama.... Second Chaaaaaances!" A tear fell from Harold's eye. "We are quite greatful for this opportunity, but it will be much better with immunity!" Ella sang, "So give us the points, and then we shall win these... joints?" Ella suddenly realized that made no sense and Beardo stopped scratching on the turntables. Ella and Beardo bowed. "Other than stealin' my turntables that was pretty good," Chef said while nodding, "I'll get ya a seven." Ella clapped excitedly. "Uhm... I actually have no idea what that was but I liked the singing!" Lindsay exclaimed, "Five!" "That... was... amazing," Harold said, still in awe, "I give you a ten! The turntables really brought it all together, though. So good call, my friends." Beardo and Ella hugged in excitement "I knew it!" Blaineley exclaimed from the sidelines. "Step aside, I'm up next, everyone." "Uh, the Rhinos should be goin'," said Chef. "No way! I ain't ready!" said a voice that sounded like Ezekiel. "Let Blaineley go, eh." "Oh, how marvelous!" said Blaineley, and she got up onto the stage. "So, for today I'm going to be doing something completely different. Ever wondered the secret lives of the teenagers of Total Drama? Well, if so, then you're in luck, because I'm about to dish the dirtiest dirt in all of dirtdom! Everyone gasped slightly, except Eva who just stared angrily. "Alright! So, my friend Josh is NOT here. But why would I need him? It's been shown that I'm a pro at the drama even without him," Blaineley said. "Let's see here. Where do we start..." Everyone shifted awkwardly, Blaineley then gasped and smiled. "Ah, yes, how could I forget? Did you guys HEAR about Katie and Samey's huge feud? Like, I was with them down in the cave and they were totally going at it!" Ezekiel laughed slightly, "Heh, going at it." Everyone looked at him. "The mud was being SLUNG down there!" Blaineley exclaimed, "I also heard Sam and Dakota's relationship was on the ROCKS!" Sam and Dakota simultaneously gasped. "Oh, and Beardo and Ella - they say nothing's going on between them, but I'm telling you, honey, there's no way Beardo has been able to look at Ella and not be attracted to her! She's a cutie-pie, I don't blame him!" Beardo looked around shiftily. Ella seemed to be hurt. "Oh, Beardo, if that's true, why not just tell me?" she said sweetly. "And Leonard? Oh, I've heard that underneath his wizard's robe, he wears nothing but hula girl-themed boxers!" Blaineley said. "They're not hula girls, they're female berserker warriors from the dimension of Spitz!" said Leonard. "Let's not forget about Noah and his hidden attraction for Cody. I heard that he had a dream last night about him..." Blaineley said. "Heh. Original. Where'd you get that one," said Noah in a monotone. "I heard Brick PEED HIS PANTS in the cave too!" Blaineley exclaimed, laughing slightly. Brick sighed. "And I'm just getting started!" Chef hit a button and a large X dropped from the ceiling and broke a hole in the stage, "Alright I'm done with this crap! Givin' it a zero!" "As am I," Harold said, crossing his arms, "That wasn't cool. Mistaking berserker warriors for hula girls? Unacceptable." "Um... I give it a five!" Lindsay exclaimed and Chef and Harold looked at her, "What?" "Pssh," Blaineley said, walking off-stage. "I knew it wouldn't be appreciated. Let's just see how lame this final act is, then." Ezekiel appeared on stage. "Greetings, eh. Today, I'm gonna present to all y'all a poem. It's called 'True Love', and written by... uh, nobody." Rodney nodded happily. "Okay uh," Ezekiel cleared his throat loudly, and suddenly a kazoo blared loudly over the loud speaker, causing everyone to cover their ears "YO YO YO! It's me da Z-MAN here to bring y'all a poem, Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm pretty cool, and wanna make love to you!" Rodney gasped loudly. "I didn't write that!" Rodney exclaimed in the confessional, "What's he doing?" "Aight, now that that's out of tha' way, time for the real poem!" Ezekiel exclaimed, and Chef looked extremely unimpressed. "Uh, ahem," said Ezekiel. "My heart burns like a recently lit candle. Every day, as I milk th' cows on th' farm, I think of your ethereal, almost clear skin tone an' your flowing luscious blonde locks. I've never felt this way before. Uh, I do not want my flame to be doused. My habits of getting flustered near thou are just quirks, and I do truly love you, my fire is as bright as my hair. Uh, yeah." Dawn raised an eyebrow and Rodney smiled broadly as everyone sat there awkwardly. Chef stood up and clapped, "That was beautiful man!" He reached into his pocket and took out a hankerchief and wiped his eyes, "Ten outta ten!" "I agree," Harold said, "I may not like you but that reminded me of the poems I sent to my precious Leshawna! Ten points!" "I give it a... uh, eight?" Lindsay said, "That weird dying chicken noise at the beginning hurt my ears!" "Aight, I'll take it homes," Ezekiel said. "I think we have a winner!" Chris exclaimed, "Somehow... Ezekiel wins it for the Rhinos?" "Wait, I did?" Ezekiel exclaimed, "AW YEAH!" "Wait, what, that doesn't even make sense because of the point configura--" Noah began. "I don't need any technicalities, Noah!" said Chris. "Point is, the Rhinos win the challenge for tonight!" The Rhinos cheered loudly and the Hippos sat there quietly. "I still don't know how we lost," Blaineley said in the confessional, "that stupid poem won it for them? Really?" "It's good we won," Dakota said in the confessional, "but what about Sammy? What will happen to him? I hope he's safe." "Losing kinda sucks, heheh," Sam said in the confessional, "but really everyone is kinda at each other's throat so maybe it's good we're going?" "Rodney's poem, and yes I knew it was Rodney's, Ezekiel doesn't have the capacity to write that well, was very sweet," Dawn said in the confessional, "it gave me a bit more insight to him as a person, and that is definitely something I can use to help him." The Hippos were shown trudging back to the wizard's tower, Brick looking visibly upset. "Marvelous effort, everyone!" said Leonard. "But..." Eva began. "We LOST." "True, but winning isn't everything!" Ella said. "Actually it is whenever you're on a reality show, honey," Blaineley said, flatly. "You know, she kind of has a point," Noah said. Noah was shown in the confessional. "Meh. I don't really know who to vote tonight. Not really too keen on most of 'em. I like Tyler, though." "I say we should boot Sparemy!" Katie said. Samey looked up. "I'm RIGHT HERE!" Samey yelled. Katie crossed her arms, "I know." "Seriously, what is her problem?" Samey exclaimed in the confessional, "This is just getting ridiculous!" "Hey, bud," Noah said to Tyler, a little less nonchalant than usual. "What's up?" "Yo, did you see Lindsay staring at me earlier in the challenge? Oh, wait. She wasn't. I feel pretty bad, bro," Tyler said. "She might as well call me Noah again." "Oh, well, that--" Noah began. "Hey! Seriously, I don't know why I try anymore." He went back to reading his book. Eva was shown in the confessional. "Yeah, I'm voting Mildred tonight. She's just LUCKY she didn't say anything about me, otherwise she would be leaving here with a toe tag." Blaineley was seen talking to Leonard and Sam, "Alright boys, time to talk some strategy!" "Uh, why? Heheh." Sam asked. "Because this is a REALITY show, you have to strategize!" Blaineley exclaimed, "That's why you got out early both times." "Uh, actually, you competed in less episodes than I did either time I played." Sam said. "So? We're voting Eva tonight, got it?" Blaineley exclaimed. Sam and Leonard nodded. "Blaineley is kind of scary, but Eva is really scary," Sam said in the confessional, "I'm not really sure who to vote." Brick was seen sitting on his bunk, visibly upset. Tyler walked over, "Hey man." "Hello soldier," Brick said, half-heartedly saluting, "I'm feeling quite defeated at this point." "Yeah, me too man," Tyler said, "My girlfriend wouldn't even look at me while Justin was on the stage!" "Yeah, well at least you didn't embarrass yourself on national television," Brick replied. Tyler laughed, "Oh yeah, I've done that plenty of times man!" "That's great to know," Brick said, smiling a bit. "Ready to teach these soldiers who's boss?" "Haha, yeah!" Tyler said. "Gonna take this competition to the extreme." "Tyler is a great soldier," Brick said in the confessional, "his loyalty and friendship has raised my mood ten-fold from what it was after the challenge!" Chris was then shown with the contestants at the elimination ceremony. "Well, good evening, Hippos! Since it's your first time here, I'll get to the rules. Oh, wait, you've all competed before." He then looked at the winner's booth, and noticed Tyler was missing, "Wait, where is Tyler?" Tyler and Lindsay are then shown sitting together on the 1000 foot tall cliff giggling and smiling, "I love you, Lindsay!" Lindsay smiled back, "I love you too, Noah!" Tyler sighed loudly and Lindsay looked at him, confused. "Uh, will my cool yo-yo tricks help you out?" Tyler said, and he took out his yo-yo. The second he started playing with it, the two both got tangled up in it and began to make out. Tyler shrugged and continued to make out. "Hey, she may have a reeeeally bad memory... But she's still a great girl," Tyler said in the confessional. "Eh, Never mind! I'll be passing out marshmallows, I suppose. Speaking of that, they go to Beardo, Ella, Katie, Samey, and Leonard!" Katie rolled her eyes as Samey caught her marshmallow, and Beardo and Ella smiled at each other. "Sam, Noah, and Tyler, you get marshmallows too!" Chris exclaimed as he threw marshmallows at all three, missing each of them. "Hm, this is my first immunity symbol ever," Noah said flatly, holding the marshmallow. "I'm thoroughly unimpressed." "Brick. Blaineley. Eva. One of you three is going home tonight..." began Chris. "And it's definitely not Brick! Your crocheting was pretty horrendous, but good enough to keep you out of the bottom two!" "Wait, really?" Brick exclaimed, "I'm honored, soldiers!" "What? Why am I here?!" Eva and Blaineley said at the exact same time. "Eva, Blaineley," said Chris. "The final marshmallow goes to..." "Eva." Chris tossed Eva the marshmallow, which she crushed in her hands angrily. "What? Are you kidding me?" Blaineley yelled, looking at her team, "This is unacceptable! Obviously you guys can't handle the cold, hard truth!" "Yeah yeah, boat of losers is that-a-way," Chris said, pointing to the dock. Blaineley rolled her eyes and walked over to the boat, "Ridiculous! At least I still have Celebrity Manhunt to go back to..." "It should've been Samey!" Katie exclaimed. "I am RIGHT HERE!" Samey yelled. "Well, another one down, and not really the most exciting bonfire ceremony ever," Chris said, "but now we're down to 19! Who will go next time! Will Ezekiel finally go home? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Second Chances!"